Such a good dog. “Ok little human I’ll wait here while you go play in the puddle.”
he places the leash down on the ground so carefully
why do people get so mad about puns? they’re literally the nicest kind of humor. they make nobody feel bad. it’s just clever. sometimes it’s original. learn to like puns. don’t let society run your life
How to tell your parents you’re pregnant?
Play, children. play in the pits of hell.
when u make hot chocolate and take it out of te microwave and the handle is 2000 degrees i created u i gave u life why must u hurt me
repeat after me:
- virginity is a social construct
- you don’t lose your virginity
- there’s nothing valuable or precious about virginity, it’s an imaginary concept
- virginity is inherently heterocentric
- your worth is not defined by whether or not you’ve had a dick inside you
- what you define as sex is up to you, you get to decide how many people you’ve had sex with
- the end
If you look hard enough, you can see it. [via]
OMG NO I SCROLLED DOWN BC I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING AND THEN I SCROLLED BACK UP AND HAD A HEART ATTACK OMFG
Oh. My god.
WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT FUCK I SCARED MY CAT
I wish we said “fancy” in America. As in, “I fancy you.” It’s such a more agreeable term than “I have a crush on you.” What’s a crush? Like, I AM A BOA CONSTRICTOR AND I AM GOING TO IMMOBILIZE YOU WITH MY MISPLACED AND OBSESSIVE AFFECTION. “I fancy you” is like, you’re so shiny and glittery and I just want to put you on a shelf and look at you for a while ‘cause you’re fancy.
in australia we just exchange boomerangs